Surprises aren’t just for birthdays and holidays—they play a much bigger role in our lives and relationships than we often realize. From sparking joy to deepening bonds, the power of surprise is backed by science and can transform how we connect with the people around us.
Why Do Surprises Feel So Good?
When something unexpected happens, our brains release dopamine—the "feel-good" chemical that enhances mood and sharpens focus. This reaction doesn’t just make us happy in the moment; it creates lasting memories by making the event stand out in our minds. Think about the last time you were genuinely surprised—whether it was an unexpected compliment or a spontaneous gift. Chances are, you remember that moment vividly (Sapolsky, 2017).
Surprises Strengthen Relationships
Introducing surprises into relationships can be a powerful tool for connection. Whether it’s surprising a partner with their favorite coffee or planning an unannounced date night, these small, thoughtful gestures show that we care and are willing to put in effort. Research shows that surprises help maintain excitement and emotional closeness in long-term relationships, acting as a buffer against routine and boredom (McNulty & Fincham, 2012).
Surprise = Stronger Memories
Our brains are wired to prioritize unexpected events. Surprises trigger a heightened state of awareness, which helps us process and store these experiences more effectively. This means that surprising moments are not just enjoyable—they’re also more likely to be remembered, strengthening the emotional impact of the experience (Peters & Büchel, 2010)
Incorporating Surprise into Everyday Life
You don’t need grand gestures to harness the power of surprise. Small, thoughtful actions can have just as much impact. Try sending a spontaneous message of appreciation, bringing home a small gift, or planning an unexpected outing. Even the simplest surprises can make a big difference in how connected and appreciated your loved ones feel.
The Beam Perspective: Surprise and Wellness
At Beam, we believe that surprise is a key ingredient in both personal wellness and strong relationships. Whether it’s discovering new ways to care for yourself or sharing unexpected moments with those you love, embracing the element of surprise can lead to greater happiness and deeper connections.
So, the next time you’re thinking about how to brighten someone’s day—or even your own—remember the power of surprise. It’s the little unexpected moments that often make the biggest impact.
Sources:
- McNulty, J. K., & Fincham, F. D. (2012). Beyond positive psychology? Toward a contextual view of psychological processes and well-being. American Psychologist, 67(2), 101–110. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2013-13677-004?ref=lhwprgek&sub_id=
- Peters, J., & Büchel, C. (2010). Neural mechanisms of extinction learning and retrieval. NeuroImage, 52(3), 963–972. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2013-13677-004?ref=lhwprgek&sub_id=
- Sapolsky, R. M. (2017). Behave: The biology of humans at our best and worst. Penguin Press. https://www.academia.edu/97676284/Behave_The_Biology_of_Humans_at_Our_Best_and_Worst_Robert_M_Sapolsky?ref=lhwprgek&sub_id=
